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In Never Split the Difference, former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss presents a compelling, psychology-driven approach to negotiation that moves beyond logic and compromise. He argues that negotiation is rooted in human emotion and that leveraging empathy—specifically what he terms tactical empathy—is the key to connecting with counterparts and influencing outcomes. Rather than seeking compromises, Voss encourages negotiators to engage deeply with the other party’s feelings, using techniques such as mirroring (subtly repeating the last few words spoken) and labeling, which involves acknowledging emotions aloud to validate them and create trust.
Voss also challenges conventional wisdom by advocating for strategically inviting “No”, recognizing that people often feel safer and more in control when they say “No,” which can ultimately open the door to real dialogue. He teaches how to trigger emotionally honest responses, aiming for the phrase “That’s right”—which signifies authentic agreement—rather than a perfunctory “yes.”
The book offers a range of practical tools: calibrated questions (“What” and “How” queries) guide conversations toward problem-solving; the Accusation Audit prepares you to neutralize fears or objections before they’re expressed; and the Ackerman bargaining method offers a structured approach to setting and adjusting offers. Voss emphasizes the importance of tone—sometimes recommending a calm, authoritative “late-night DJ” voice—to defuse tension, alongside body language and voice modulation.
He warns against “splitting the difference,” which he argues often leads to unsatisfying, mediocre outcomes. Instead, he demonstrates how to anchor negotiations, introduce creative non-monetary concessions, and employ extreme anchors to reshape expectations. He also outlines how to spot deception through speech patterns and pronoun usage, and how to identify decision-makers by paying attention to language cues.
Throughout, Voss supports these techniques with riveting real-world stories—from high-stakes hostage exchanges to everyday business discussions—making his strategies both actionable and memorable. Ultimately, the book reframes negotiation as an art rooted in emotional intelligence, active listening, and creative problem-solving, teaching readers how to achieve better, more satisfying results in both professional and personal negotiations.
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Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss - GHRC LLP
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss reveals nine powerful negotiation principles based on his experience as an FBI hostage negotiator. Voss shares insights from handling high-stakes situations with bank robbers and terrorists. The book teaches strategies to gain an … Continue reading